The Abolishment of the Family

The Abolishment of the Family

The current chaos in Western society is felt by women and children most because the manmade system has neglected their needs and rights. When religion is not placed at the center of importance of a society, then for every step towards progress means step away from religion and family.[1] Contrary to this, religion has always stressed the importance of family, of women, and especially of mothers.[2] In the West all other areas of life take priority, with the family unit taking last place. According to most politicians, the family and mother are not the basic cornerstone of the society, and according to many individuals, work is more important than family. At once, this has stripped women of their basic human right to procreate and has tried to alter woman’s identity as the significant “other” in the scope of human life (as if babies can grow up without a mother’s love). At the same time it has forced young children into situations in which they are unable to find security, love and real care. Can life go on without the woman being willing to bear future generations? Apparently, some people feel it can. Can families remain strong and united if the job and money have become more important than the individuals of a family? Can children grow up under these conditions and become emotionally secure and confident individuals? Additionally, women in the West are still oppressed in the marriage custom, and they are being underpaid in the workplace. In either situation, women are the victims.

Friedrich Engels, a German of Jewish descent and one of the founders of present-day Communist theory, openly supports the breakdown of the family unit:

“It will become clear that for the liberation of women, the first condition is to introduce again all women into public activity, and that means the abolition of the isolated family as a socioeconomic unit.. The care and education of children becomes a public affair; society looks after all children alike, whether they are legitimate or not.”[3]

Likewise, Marx said, “The abolition [i.e., dying out] of the family means the socialization of man..”[4] Hence, mother is replaced by daycare, parents are replaced by education, and belonging to family becomes belonging to society as a whole. For socialization to take root, the advantages of family, motherhood, and the maternal instinct must be uprooted and torn out of the human mind – especially out of the female psyche. In the West this process began several decades ago, and today it is nearing full realization. If anyone doubts this, then explain why there are so many social services on the American continent. On just two pages of the telephone directory for a small rural town in Pennsylvania was a long social service list for alcohol treatment programs, child abuse centers, drug and other substance abuse centers, a runaway switch board, a coalition against domestic violence and rape, an abortion hot line, pregnancy loss support programs, mental health support centers, sexual assault rehabilitation centers, a civil liberties union, and venereal disease information centers. After observing all this, one can ask what has happened to people’s lives, to the family, and to the important relations between the sexes.

It can be concluded that in the West the relevance of the family and motherhood has been sabotaged long ago. It began in subtle ways with innocent and cleverly sent messages which targeted women’s minds. The media told them that being a wife and mother is oppressive and limiting and that children can raise themselves. It continued to akin children to rug rats and implied that raising children in nurseries is not harmful. Staying home with children was considered a waste of one’s time and effort.

The signs of how civilization has degraded the mother are all around. The number of marriages are decreasing, while the number of divorces are escalating. The number of children per family is less, and the number of illegitimate children is on the rise. More women are being employed, and there are more single parent families. In 1975, the largest number of working women worldwide was in the Soviet Union, where eighty-two out of one hundred women were employed. During this period in history, the Soviet Union and America had the same and highest number of illegitimate children.[5]

True religion has always put the family as the most important element of man’s existence. It is suppose to be where one finds comfort and companionship and where the beauty of procreation through the lives of one’s own children unfolds before his eyes. According to Islam, the woman, as mother, is a builder of nations. But today, in most parts of the world, mothers have been replaced by the public education system and daycare centers. People other than the family members are taking care of the children.

The morals of Western society have been dispersed. The values people blindly cling to are a series of mixed messages and contradictions. For example, in Western culture where pornography is a legal multimillion dollar empire, it is no longer considered wrong or exploitative. The “new wave thinking” is that the posing of nude women is okay because they are consenting adults. Similar to this but somewhat more confusing is the legalization and authorized approval of prostitution. However, it is presently legalized in only one state. What explains this obvious restriction and governmental control? If it is morally wrong or a threat to society, then why make it legal at all? This is similar to the “Don’t tell” policy for homosexuals who want to enter the military: as long as it’s kept quiet, it’s okay. If morality is defined as that which is between two consenting adults, how is the restriction on prostitution or the prohibition of certain sexual acts between legally married people explained? Are not these acts between consenting adults?

Even more confusion is heard when feminists and others get on the ban wagon against beauty pageants, which have been in existence for seventy-five years the same number of years women in this country were granted the right to vote). Beauty pageants promote the value of being beautiful. The contestants wear bathing suits and are judged greatly upon their beauty. (One must be at least pretty to even get into a pageant.) Has there ever been an ugly “beauty queen?”

What about other areas of society that no one seems bothered by, such as women casually going poolside wearing a next-to-nothing G-string bikini? What about topless bars and nude dance clubs? What about the models in the modeling industry? Are they not valued for their good looks? If concern about the exploitation of women is sincere, then the entire culture must come under scrutiny.

Where once a mother nurtured her children under the guidance of her religious values, daycare and the public education system now foster them through governmentally controlled programs in order to shape them into good citizens. This can be described as nothing less than the move towards the dehumanization and despiritualization of man. Reverting back to Russia provides a good example. From the moment a Russian is born, he is taken from the hospital maternity ward to still more structured facilities like boarding schools. Just as cattle being driven from one plain to the next, he is lead through a systematic process of dehumanization and drill only to end up at yet another structured setting.[6] To the former Russians, life was never equated with the comfort of home, family closeness, or the mother’s presence.

Women have been greatly affected by the path Western civilization has taken them. Especially beautiful women they are no longer human beings but rather toys to look at, admire and use. As objects of desire, men value women mostly in terms of sexual conquest and gratification. The beautiful actress, the super model, or the victim of date rape on college campuses or on the battlefield are no longer human beings with feelings. They are instead a means of momentary fulfillment, visual delight and nothing more than a beautiful creature strolling down the public sidewalk or fashion runway. If women can be successfully stripped of their human identity, dignity and self-respect, then they can be more easily abused and manipulated. If their modesty and sense of morality can be diminished, they are easier targets to molest and sexually assault. 

It must be noted that most of the institutions that objectify women as playthings would be out of business if women woke up and saw the light. Beauty pageants, modeling agencies, female pornography purveyors, and prostitution rings thrive because of the willing participation of women blinded by the myths fed them by this culture. It is distressing to see the semi-clothed female body increasingly splashed on billboards and in magazines selling everything from lipstick to batteries. And it is not as if all this freedom does not come with a high price tag. Female suicide, depression, and substance abuse are worldwide problems. What is wrong with this picture of “liberation?” 

Certain realities are impossible to deny and must be faced. These mixed, hurt feelings are easily stirred in women today. Frustrations and disappointments can be seen and heard from the blue collar worker to the woman who holds the highest degree. Many are unfulfilled, overworked and lost. The epitome of the Western woman can be seen in an illustration of a woman who has a scientific doctorate degree and is working at one of the top academic universities in the United States. She is married and has children, but she is not happy. She faces discrimination and unfair treatment just because she is a woman. Although she has worked as hard as her male counterpart, she is never treated with the same level of respect. Her children miss her because she spends long hours at work. She and her husband have their own professional careers, and their relationship is practically non-existent. She is lonely and overworked. She asks herself, “What has my education gotten me?” and confides her feelings only to a few strangers because they are non-threatening. Her tears easily flow. She feels a rage buried deep inside her, as though she is going to explode one day. She worked so hard at her work that she miscarried a child, but “Nobody really cared,” she said. Even the doctor coldly remarked, “I see no viable fetus” and left the room. She continued, “Everyone here expects you to get back in the saddle. No one has time to care about other people.”

Many people seem to be drowning in life’s sea of confusion, engulfed by waves at every turn crashing in on them. But it is the woman who is endlessly waiting for an outstretched hand. Numbed by the cold, harsh realities that keep smashing in upon her, she feels powerless over the force that incessantly pulls her down. But she is not powerless, weak or helpless. She only needs a guiding hand.

[Women’s Ideal Liberation: Islamic Versus Western Understanding by Rukaiyah Hill Abdulsalam, p. 9-15]


[1] Islam Between East and West, p. 175.

[2] Ibid., p. 179.

[3] Ibid., p. 176.

[4] Ibid., p. 176.

[5] Ibid., pp. 177-178

[6] Ibid., p. 179.

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